Jack Bauer

These thoughts took place between 1 PM and 2 PM. I must admit, since my last newsletter (which has been a few months) something has happened. I’ve become a little obsessed with Jack Bauer, the main character in the television show “24”. He works for a government branch that is involved in counter- terrorism. Ron knows and he’s hooked too. The show is in it’s 7th season and a friend of mine loaned me the first season on DVD to watch during my travels. It sat on my bedroom dresser for a month before I began watching it. If you haven’t watched it, the show is broken down by the hours in a day. To watch one 24 episode season is to watch one 24 hour day. Every single episode ends with a cliff hanger–one that leaves the watcher wanting more and wondering what in the world is going to happen to this guy next!

I was on the road traveling and mentioned to a youth director friend of mine prior to beginning the series that someone had given it to us. “Be careful,” he said as he laughed. “My wife and I rented the first season,” he recalled “and we thought after we put our kids to bed we’d watch a few episodes just to see if we liked it. We began watching early that evening. We got to midnight and said we better stop.” He smiled and said, “at 8 am we turned it off and woke the kids for the day.” It is crazy to see what all can happen in just one day!

The show is presented in real time, with an hour representing an hour. It is funny to observe how life is presented in this story with a season representing one 24 hour day.

It’s been a fun ride to see how all of the different characters and the way their lives weave together and how that is revealed just a little bit at a time.

I have some observations to share:

First, Jack is single focused. He knows the purpose of his mission. Regardless of the object of his mission, Jack seems to be single focused on whatever the task at hand is. There is often quite a bit of potential distractors in the mix, but Jack sticks to his mission.

Second Jack has an uncanny ability to know who to trust. In the show there are definitely people who should not be trusted. Time and time again, Jack realizes who is really trust worthy. Think about that in your own life. OK I’ll go first. On the surface, I trust everyone. But when it comes down to it., I’m not a good role model for trust. I forgot a close friend’s birthday this week and on the day, at the ninth hour, I called him and said, “oh no.” I had no card and no gift. I thought for sure I’d remember and be the one he could count on to make his day special. If you give me a piece of paper with your name and number on it, well it might just might go to the place where all my other lost stuff is. Some airport lost and found in Phoenix, on some shelf in the back. If you ask me to pray about something for you, I really try to remember. I might think about it after the thing I was suppose to pray for. OK, I’m just being honest.. But then there’s that moment when you really get my attention and say, “Celia I need you to help me with this.” Do you have someone like that? I called a friend last week just to hear her voice, just to touch down and say I love you. She has seen the good and bad in my life and I have seen hers. I can trust her with all of it. The last episode I saw Jack was captured and in the last seconds of the show he said, “can I make one call?” Even Jack has a someone he can call, someone he can say, “this thing happened to me.” I’m not sure you can do anything about it, but I thought of you and I called to say I need you. Who do you trust with your everything?

A third theme is that Jack has ability to get the job done alone. Many times Jack finds himself going in before back-up arrives. His advisors have asked and pleaded with him to wait. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. He’s caught by the bad guys, because maybe there were too many bad guys or maybe he couldn’t see that one guy behind the tree. Why do I attempto to work like that? I think foolishly that I can do this by myself, all alone, with no back up. Like Jack, many times I pull it off and that’s insane, because sometimes, I don’t. What I have learned is that trust goes hand in hand with this concept. There are some people I can trust my life to and there are those who will be there for me as my partners in life. Beyond them there is my faith which I know that I know God’s realness and steadfastness–the always-in-the-midst-of-my-sea-of-maybes.

I joke and say if we’re alive and well then Jack Bauer is doing his job, but I know better. Jack is not the source of my security. If I’m alive and well it’s because I know who I am; I’m doing things that I love; I’m surrounded with people who know me and love me; I have a faith that is real and true and I can trust others with my heart and life.

I’m not alone and neither are you.

These thoughts will self-destruct in 30 seconds.

On Bad Days

Have you ever had a day when you just want the world to go away? Like a nagging sister, the world is right there– tagging along, always needing something and making you tired and grumpy! I had a day like that recently.

When I woke up, the world had already begun its spin and I was sucked into the spin within my first hour. How can it be? I just woke up! How early do I need to get up, so that I’m not behind? Some days it seems like some time before 5:00 AM would do it. But who gets up before 5:00?–dairy farmers. I’m sure dairy farmers don’t care what the world thinks. They’re too busy taking care of cows. That’s exactly what I need, a cow.

Next thing I know I’m running out the door. Last month I wrote a song that has a line in it: “getting out the door’s like getting out of quicksand.” Yes, that’s true for me. I ran out of the door and started driving down my driveway only to stop the car and run back into the house to get the thing I swore I woudn’t forget. Ugh. Then I ran back to the car. The last time I had a start like this I drove off with my favorite red coffee cup on the back bumper of the car and you got it. It fell off somewhere and I have never seen the pieces it left behind. I drove by the area I think it flung itself into only to find high grass and a deep ditch. I didn’t check the bumper that morning but nothing would have surprised me. I loved that coffee mug.

I made it to school in time to drop boys off. It rained today, so when they got out of the car instead of the usual in the air kisses that they blow me, they blew me off and headed for the front door of the school in the rain. That’s ok. We had a plan for today. I parked the car and met them inside to deliver some slices of leftover chocolate cake to some of their teachers, past and present. As I shared the cake with Zach’s teacher, I said, “just a little sunshine coming your way!” As I headed to the next teacher– the PE coach, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in a school door. I was wearing no make-up, but wet hair from the rain. All I made time for this morning was my frumpy clothes. Today would have been a great day for sleeping in. The PE coach was out sick, so we gave a piece of cake to a friend down the hall who was thrilled.

Next, I stopped off at Max’s class and asked his teacher if she had any work I could help with. Three hours later I finished organizing a year’s worth of second grade readers. I know I helped, but I was hoping for something artistic, like designing a colorful decoration for the hallway. Now, I love doing that, but organization is not my gift. But I’m sure that’s what she needed today and looking back, I’m glad I could help. When you think of me, don’t think of filing. OK, cows are starting to look better.

I headed home to make some phone calls and grab lunch. Right before I turned the car off it started making a funny sound. You know the sound, the one that sounds like money. OK, by now the world is really getting on my nerves! We just replaced a radiator. I wonder how much it costs to maintain a cow.

When I picked up Max and Zach we headed to Max’s class and decorated the hallway. A friend of mine came by and had her daughter out on the playground and asked if the boys could join them. “Are you nuts,” I thought, “how long can you keep them?” I mean, “sure that’s a wonderful idea.” Three hours later, our hallway of trees, butterflies, grasshoppers and flowers was complete.

Upon arriving home, everyone read books. Then Max did his homework. We all ate our slightly overcooked dinner together and made designs with a Spirograph. Do you remember those? We made our way to bed and read “The Day Jimmy’s Boa Ate the Wash” which was a great book for today. We said prayers and I kissed boys goodnight. Then I was off to watch Grey’s Anatomy–thank goodness for TIVO. Who’d have thought time-shifting content could be so life changing and miraculous? Until the unthinkable happened–the last 5 minutes of Grey’s was not recorded. I know that I can get someone to tell me what happened, but at the time, let’s just say, it took my breath away. Now that I think about it, it’s kinda funny. I’ll bet if I was a dairy farmer, I wouldn’t have time to be interested in TV shows. I’d be waking up at 5 or 3 am to milk the cows instead, here I am with my day.

Someone was born today… someone died… someone fell in love… someone got closer to curing AIDS or a form of cancer… someone broke up with their boyfriend… someone celebrated a birthday with family and friends… someone celebrated a birthday alone… someone climbed Mount Everest… someone got lost… someone lost their first tooth… someone got their first job… someone found out that the cancer is still there…someone found out they are not sick anymore… someone else learned they are going to have a baby… someone felt loved, while someone else thought of taking their own life… all of this happened and so much more… and I felt all day like I wanted a do-over. Maybe that’s just it, we don’t get one. Max’s pre-school teacher Ms Beth used to say, “you get what you get and you don’t pitch a fit.” Maybe today was all the best and worst rolled together in into 24 hours, but it was my day. It just was. At the end of it, I find myself falling on my knees, thankful to God for all of it. For those who know the real “dirty-hair-pulled-on-top-of-my-head,-didn’t-take-a-shower-yet,-my-house-isn’t-clean-and-won’t-be-until-I-don’t-know-when,-got-$1.34-in-my-purse,” me. Those last five minutes of Grey’s Anatomy can be lost forever. I didn’t lose one minute of my day. Each moment I felt–the joy and disappointment. Tonight while preparing dinner…. I over-cooked a grilled cheese sandwich and I started crying. Zach looked up from the table and said, “what is it, Celia? is it just everything?” And I thought, “yep it is.” Somedays are like that even for dairy farmers.

This is the day that the Lord has made… let us rejoice and be glad in it. PS118:24

On Directions

Who do you ask for directions? I had an experience last month that got me thinking.

I was returning from a visit with my friend Kathleen and I arrived early at my gate at the D/FW Airport, so I picked up breakfast from the McDonald’s in my terminal. Upon returning to my gate I noticed an empty information booth. It was perfect — no one was sitting there; it had a counter and a chair; it was near the door at my gate and it was near the main floor to the terminal. It would be a great place to enjoy my breakfast and to people-watch (or so I thought)! So I did what I normally do, I made myself at home. Placing my carry on bags underneath the booth, I took a seat and began eating my breakfast. Something funny happened. Instead of my watching people, people started watching me. Above my head was a sign that said, “information.” As folks walked by, they stopped. At first I thought, “surely they will know that I’m just at traveler, like them, stopping to eat my breakfast.” I mean come on my sausage biscuit was sitting right there next to my Starbucks. OK I love McDonalds breakfast… but Starbucks was a must! I guess they thought that I had some information they needed and they began to stop.

“Excuse me, do you know how to get to Terminal C?” As I looked up at a family of four, “Sure,” I answered. Catch the Skylink right behind this hallway and it will take you right there. It’s just two stops away and you’ll be there in no time,” I smiled.

A man came by wearing a “Life is Good” baseball cap on his head. “Say can you help me get to the extended parking? I’m having trouble remembering which bus to catch?” “Alright,” I said, “this one’s a little tough.” There was a map nearby and I said, “it might take a while, but be patient you’ll get there. The trams do come my quickly and when I’ve been away from my car for a while I have to stop and think ‘OK. now where did I leave you?’” And off he went.

A lovely retired couple came by asking how one might change a flights and leave a little later on another flight. Hmmmmm I knew they’d need a higher power. “You know what? You’ll need a gate agent to help you. I can’t do that one.” So I directed them to the nearest gate where a friendly agent quickly began to pull up their record and redirect there route home. After a while I picked up my biscuit and thought I might as well eat while I’m here. I called my friend Kathleen and I got so tickled as we laughed at how once again I had found myself in an interesting situation. I told her it was funny as I watched the family of four run off to catch the Skylink train to make their flight. They all smiled and waved at me, “hey thanks for the help.” “Have a fun trip,” I laughed. Kathleen and I giggled that I should leave while I could, before I sent someone in the wrong direction or gave out bad advice and made their trip worse.

One of my favorite movies as a child was “The Great Impostor (1961).” Tony Curtis starred in it. His character took on roles of different people. At times others thought him to be that person and they treated him as if he was. Once he was a doctor and once a warden of a prison. The funny thing is that he was good at his roles. He became who others thought of him to be. Instead of being just the impostor, he genuinely became that person and really was quite good at helping people and at making a difference. Yet he was always wondering if he would be discovered.

The role of information expert fell on me by accident and I don’t encourage pretending like someone you are not, but I felt a little bit like I was in that movie while I sat at that booth. I wondered if someone would finally see me for who I was. I was not the information lady, but someone waiting for a plane and eating my breakfast. I wondered if anyone from my flight had seen me at the booth and wondered “what in the world? What’s she doing? She can’t sit there. What information does she have that can help? There needs to be a qualified official information person in that chair.” I just smiled and thought, “you will have to tell it to the 25 people who I just helped along their way.”

I wonder how it can be that I’m the person being asked for directions when, I’m guessing much of the time. And there are moments when I think, “now I don’t have the answer for you, but I’m here with you and I can point you in a direction I’d look if I were you.”

Here’s the thing, you never know where you’ll find information about your direction and who might be the one to lead you there. God is using all of us. We are all instruments. Even if we don’t feel like we should be sitting in the information booth.

My desire is to move people and I think music is the way I’m called to do so. Sometimes it’s not just a moving of the heart or emotion, it’s more like pointing the way. How do I get from here to there? How do I get un-lost? How can I understand which way to go from here?

I have to tell you that as that family ran by, I had a moment when I thought, “this is it. This is my purpose… to help others on the way to somewhere.” I’m not sure how it works. I spend my days writing and singing songs, telling stories, taking morning walks, chatting over coffee, sharing great dinners, taking road trips, sharing music that I love with others, eating birthday cake to remember someone special, going to a water park, making and taking phone calls, making late trips to sit by a friend’s side and offering words of help and comfort. Sometimes — OK many times – it’s just about being there.

Who are you called to help? Who is your neighbor? Who is near you? Sometimes it is a proximity thing — Love God with all you heart, mind and strength and love your neighbor as yourself. The best thing I had to share at that empty information booth that day was myself.

Blessings to you fellow travelers, I love you and my deepest prayer is that wherever these days lead you, that you will feel God’s loving arms around you and know as you journey that you are not alone.

Celia

PS To the guy looking for extended parking: I’m sorry if I didn’t say it at first, but you might have needed to have caught the bus on the lower level. I hope you made it to your car that day. Loved the hat. Life is good!

Just Because

A few nights ago I was helping my sons get ready for bed. I had Max (the oldest) do the usual routine: bath, put jammies on, brush teeth and make the last potty stop. Then I said, “find brother and tell him you love him just because.” So he did. Zach smiled as he hugged him and told him “ I love you.” Then it was Zach’s turn: bath, jammies, teeth, last trip to the potty and find your brother, tell him you love him just because. So he did. Did I mentioned after each declaration of love that the recipient was wrestled to the ground just to make sure they got the message. That was not what I envisioned. It was still one of those times when you remember what is important.

During a retreat I led last month, I sat with a girl who told me that she was struggling with her younger brother. She lamented that he was mean to her and he just didn’t get it. It was clear that she loved her brother deeply. She had learned how fragile life was and she wanted her eighth grade brother to get it. I said, “he’s just being a little brother. You keep telling him you love him, better yet show him how you feel. Find how what he likes to do and do it with him. Find out what he loves just because. Show him what it means to care about him and then love the brother you have today–the way he is right now. Make it about the giving. One day maybe he’ll look back and see the gift he has in you.” I encouraged her to see the gift today that she has in him.

She sent me a text message after the retreat. She said she had just returned from her brother’s band concert. He played drums. I told her about Max and Zach’s night. One day maybe I won’t have to remind them–they’ll just say it because. Because we need to use those words, because we all need to hear those words. At the end of our text conversation, I said, “sometimes the just because moments make all the other ones bearable.”

Isn’t that true? Think about it. Those people who do things for you just because, hold a special place in your heart and in mine. First, they get you what you love and they cherish it! Isn’t it wonderful to have someone know you? Do you have someone who knows what you love? Maybe they know your birthday.. your hard days.. your favorite things? To be known is not only important, it’s sacred. Second, they remember. Not only do they know, but they remember. Third, they follow through. Sometimes I do the first parts well, but I get lost in the third part… the doing. I watch, I listen, I file away, I stop, I ask, I may have the best intentions, but sometimes I don’t get to the finish line. That’s just crazy–I buy the card and forget to send it. I think of them during the day, but just don’t get to the phone to call them. Every once in a while, I remember and I do the right thing.! The look on their face, their voice on the phone when they received a card out of the blue just because. That is what it’s all about. I am a true believer that those moments of receiving carrying us through, because they’ve made the difference in my life.

Last month, I met a friend at the grocery store just because. I loved her and I tracked her down. As I walked through the check out with her, I thought about all the little things she has meant to me over the past years and about the ways I have been there for her. I know God was a part of my being in that grocery store. I also know that on that day, I was part of bringing God’s kingdom, in some small way. My week with her turned out to be just one of those weeks and really it began at the grocery check out aisle four.

A few days ago, I called a friend that came to mind. I had not talked with him in months and I just said, I’m not sure what’s going on but you were on my mind and I called to tell you I loved you just because I do. For a moment the phone was silent, then he said, “I’m not sure how you knew that today was a bit of a set back and a snag, but thanks for the call.” To know someone, to remember, to follow through, to be a part of their moments, to speak those words, to just do something for someone else is the thing. I know it is God’s work that we get to be small part of.

I encourage you to make some moments for someone esle this summer. — Celia

P.S. I have been thinking about writing this for a week and as I sat down to write, I received a card from another friend that started with two words, “Just because.”

Entertaining Angels

She stared directly at me and burned a hole in me with her dark brown eyes. She was holding her mother’s hand and lagging a little behind her mother’s pace. Her red dress was what first caught my eyes and then her face drew everything toward her. She really looked at me as if she knew me and knew all about my life. I wish I could use the right words to describe what I felt but in a minute I knew she knew me. Right there at gate C14, as I made my way to baggage claim, a 2-year-old named Sierra captivated me. Her mother walked by me and she turned her body around to look at me. She began waving and then stopped. I of course, stopped and said, I see you… you are beautiful. What’s your name? As I bent down to talk to her, she had stopped her mother as well. The mother’s eyes were gentle but tired and she smiled and said, Her name is Sierra. By then Sierra and I were in full embrace and I said again, “I see you and I love you.” I had been away from Max, Zach and Ron for days and I was so thankful for Sierra’s hug. As her mother began to pull away, Sierra motioned kisses to me in the air. an appropriate farewell for a 2 year old. Her hair covered in red ponytails, her white shoes, her red polka dot dress, as cute as they were, all paled in comparison to the countenance on her face–pure love.

Have you ever met anyone and see it shining from their faces? And then there’s the knowing… the real, genuine, truthful knowing that is exchanged in the connection. It was more than words shared, because to be honest, I was the only one talking. Her mother after sharing her named, sheepishly said, “thank you,” when I commented on her beauty. As they walked away, I stood and told Sierra “I’ll see you another day. Go with your Mamma, she’s a good Mamma and she loves you and I’ll see you another day. Sierra continued to blow kisses until finally she turned around to catch up with her mother’s stride.

As I made my way down the hallway toward baggage claim and toward my family I was thankful for the gift of our encounter. I have been pondering this season… all it means and all I still don’t comprehend about these holy days. This morning, Zach summed it up on the way to school. We were talking about Jesus and about Easter. We talked about how Jesus came to teach about God’s love and show us how much we are loved and he eventually died doing so. Zach one of my back seat theologians said, “yea, that Jesus loves us more than we can know.” That sums it up for me. Max and I agreed and I wished I had said it that way ‘cause it’s true.

Every once in a while I am reminded of how that love knows me, claims me, sustains me, invites me, embraces me and sees me. Like my meeting with Sierra. Out of nowhere I’m instantly reconnected and reminded and overwhelmed with more love than I can know. I wish that for you. If you see a little girl in a red polka dotted dress, don’t pass her by. She may be Christ’s messenger with a kiss or a hug for you on your journey. It is almost easier to forget to be on the lookout for the angels that live and visit us everyday as messengers of God’s love. Who knows, maybe God was using me that day to see Sierra and her mom and to be of an encourager for them along their way; just as they were to me.

As Paul is closing his letter to the Hebrews, he writes these words, “Let mutual love continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it.” (Hebrews 13:1-2 NRSV)

I sang for a leadership event for Calvary Community Church in the Los Angeles area last month. A small group of leaders and chosen influencers gathered to focus on making their church a more hospitable place. We talked about fun, we talked about being inviting and we talked about being on the lookout. One lady said it well when she said that she was much better at recognizing opportunities in her rear view mirror. I’m not sure how it works, but God is moving and I’m looking out my windshield at what’s coming. Join me on the lookout.

Love you, Celia

Love love

I love First Corinthians 13. What is it about love, that I love? I mean love is such a broad topic. When I think about all that has been done for love, my goodness, I am overwhelmed. In my life alone, love has aways been at the core of who I am and what I want to be pursuing. It is the one thing that has stayed constant, when all has swirled around in my world, love has been the anchor that holds. I have just returned from Corinth, the site of the early church to whom that letter was written.

Several years ago, I met a girl named Sarah at an event,when she was in high school. It was before I had any children, and I had miscarried during the week prior. I remember going to a Youth Encounter event in Pennsylvania as the worship leader. Sarah introduced herself after a general session. She was supposed to be heading to a workshop. Instead, she and I sat and talked about a difficult time she was having in her life. We talked about a trying past and about the uncertainties that were ahead of her. I remember praying with her and telling her I loved her. Mostly that weekend, we just hung out and we laughed–we became friends. What she didn’t know was that she loved me through that weekend, as well and through my own uncertain, dark time. Last year, she found me on my myspace and emailed me a simple message. In her note to me she shared that she is in college now, how she is doing and how blessed her life is now. She closed by saying, “I remember that weekend and how you told me you loved me and you had just met me. I just wanted you to know when you said that to me that weekend, well, I felt loved. Thank you.”

More recently I have found that I have grown to love differently… more deeply and freely. It is funny how love is for me, I know love is a choice. Loving someone is about choosing each day to love and to be loved.

There are times when love chooses me. I find myself in a situation, like meeting someone like Sarah. I find myself loving. I find myself doing what love would do, even if it seems impossible or difficult or out of character. Because of love, something illogical seems right. Something difficult seems like the clear choice. I’m drawn to love and loving. I can’t explain it. I genuinely feel love for others. Sometimes for others I just met, sometimes for others I hardly know. Other times I ‘m reminded of love that has always been there. I’m reminded of love that has chosen me for a lifetime. Last week I heard someone read an original poem and I want to leave you friends with a poem that I wrote last night. Okay when was the last time you wrote a poem, a real poem, for yourself, for God, for someone else? It was nice to craft this one for you.

My desire is to move my life each moment toward the love that Christ both taught about and lived. A love that has changed me. That is the love I could love a lifetime and spend a lifetime sharing. A love Paul shared with an early, young church, going through difficult times in a challenging setting. Like me and like Sarah, we just need to be reminded that we are loved, really loved and to feel that kind of love in us, it really is the greatest gift.

Love is

Love is more than a feeling,
it’s outward, not concealing.
Love is mountain-moving, time-consuming.
All you ever wanted doing,
Love is the past, the present, the future all rolled into one.
It’s the little things… the larger-than-life dreams.

Love takes your breath away.
Love says, “I’ll always stay.”
It’s sorry when it counts.
It always looks to better days.

Love is up at night when someone cries.
over-joyed when laughter erupts.
It’s the look across the room.
Love knows that more than words a hug soothes.

If love makes the world go round,
that’s one ride I’m not going to miss.
With all my might and all my life,
I resign myself that love is Love’s gift.

Happy (Belated) Valentine’s Day! Love, me

Peace

I was at the grocery store check-out … the self-check-out with my six year old Max when she passed by — a friend I hadn’t seen in several years. As we noticed each other, I left my post and my scanning job and hugged her neck. “How are you?” I asked. Immediately I knew the answer by the look in her eyes. It was a only few days before Thanksgiving. I was expecting, “busy, buying last minute baking supplies.” What she shared was unexpected. Her husband has cancer and his chemo was to start on Monday.

I now have totally abandoned my checking out duties and have turned it all over to Max, who, now that I think about it, was doing a fine job! Okay, normally I think I know what to say, but here’s what came out. “Could we get together and get a cup of coffee?” Why do I think Starbucks can cure anything? My dad was that way about hot tea. You could have pneumonia and he’d say, let me whip up some tea with a little honey and lemon–you’ll feel better. She laughed that you-silly-girl laugh, then she said, “I can’t imagine having time as I’ll use all my free time taking care of him.” Ugh, Celia

Then I said what I should have said first, as I grabbed her again, “I love you and I’m so sorry. What can I do? ” Her eyes filled with tears. My eyes filled with tears and the music in the background was little beeps from Max finishing up my scanning. Ahhh and here comes Christmas with all its jolliness and bright lights and me suggesting a chat over coffee and Christmas carols in the background.

Recently, I was with some other friends and I helped them with their family Christmas photo. I stood behind the photographer as he took their picture. I saw this beautiful family in front of me. When I tell you they were model material, I’m not kidding — any clothing store ad people would love this photo on their catalog cover — scarfs, hats, smiles, snow and I thought of pictures I’ve taken in years past. Beneath the smiles and poses there was so much more going on. My friend could have just smiled and told me that everything was great and I would never have known, but she didn’t. She really gave me a gift by telling me the whole story. Her smile quickly turned to tears as she shared the whole truth about this season for her family.

Okay, I am not saying we should slap a warning sticker on our Christmas portrait that says “objects appear happier than they are.” That can’t happen but it would be a fair warning.

Last year taking Max & Zach’s picture in front of the Christmas tree was a bit of a stretch. One of them kicked the other one and someone got poked in the eye. The whole time, I’m trying to get the perfect shot. “Boys… boys… stop that… look my way… smile… big… Max leave your brother alone… oh my Lord, you’ve got to be kidding.” I’m just trying to get both of them in the frame…. forget the smiles!

As I am writing this, I’m listening to “The Best of Michael McDonald.:The Christmas Collection.” When I say it has my favorite Christmas song, I am not kidding. The title is “Peace” and I can barely listen to it without crying. Michael and Beth Nielson Chapman wrote this incredible song. It is everything I wish for my friend in the checkout line, for those friends who took the Christmas picture, really, for all of us this season — is we will all find peace.

That I would fall to my knees this Christmas before the Christ child… become so real, so genuine this year with all that I offer Christ the only gift he needs and the only sacrifice I can truly make — all of me. The smiles me… the I’m hiding something me… Celia who lets others in me; the Celia who cares to share and know that what is behind the picture me….the Celia who tries to fix things with coffee me and the Celia who can’t fix it me….

In Christmas past it did seem easier when all I wanted was an easy bake oven, but Christ offers you and me much more than what we want, what we need this season ….may that peace be born in each of our hearts this Christmas.

May my friend find that peace as she begins this unknown journey and may Christ sustain her through these days. And you and I, may our picture be one filled with love–love we receive and love we unconditionally give. Not that our picture would just look like love, but may our lives be overflowing with God’s joy and may we know the source of that joy – a relationship with each other that is so real and rich that we grab each other and hold on and a relationship with the One who is holding on to us–who knows and loves us best. That one I believe is the Christ child.

on bad days

One of my favorite books is “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day” by Judith Viorst. Alexander has a bad day that begins with waking up with gum in his hair. His day included: no toy in his cereal, getting demoted to third-best by his number one best friend, kissing on TV and lima beans for supper. He finally says he’s going to Australia and his mom in her wisdom says, “some days are like that, even in Australia.”

A few days ago, I started my day by hitting my big toe on a box in my office, first thing in the morning. Ouch! Then, I couldn’t find my car keys. I looked all the places I’ve lost them in the past, I recalled all the places I’d been in the last days, I even dropped by a few and asked about my keys. I always got the same answer, “Oh no, how are you driving now?” Ugh! A few years ago Ron came to me and said, “Celia, I love you, I adore you, but I can’t look for your keys anymore.” What he didn’t realize is that it makes me crazy, too. I have a special place where they are suppose to hang, but did I put them there? Okay, I checked one more time, but no. Maybe if I moved to Australia I wouldn’t need keys.

Next I dropped Max, my new first grader, off on his first big day of school and as I was talking to his teacher about helping in the classroom, she shooed me on my way, and said we’ll be fine. I know she didn’t mean to shoo me. If she knew me she wouldn’t shoo me. Really I taught school, I know what it means to teach them independence, but today he asked if I’d walk him to class and I thought, while I’m here I’ll make myself available. Last year several parents were in and out of kindergarten with learning centers, reading to the class and helping out in the room. When the moms this year talked about how different it would be, I assumed they were talking about themselves, not me. I wanted to say to his new teacher, “I get that he’s bigger now. Trust me, I’m fine, but you might like some help.” About that time, she smiled and closed the door. So I smiled at the closed door and walked slowly to my car. With my spare set of keys in hand, all the while trying to figure out how this year is going to work. Okay, so I felt a little hurt that I’d been shooed. I knew I wouldn’t spend much time in his twelfth grade classroom, I just didn’t anticipate that beginning this year, in the first grade. I made my way home and instead of getting to all the work on my desk. I revisited my quest for, you guessed it, my keys. Ron looked for keys, he really does love me. Then the babysitter came by to watch Zach a little and to get her last paycheck of the summer. I forgot about my keys for a bit. I made some phone calls, bought some airline tickets and did some paper work in my office.

Soon it was time to pick up Max from school. He is a car rider and if you have ever picked up an elementary student from school at the beginning of the year, you know that Australia looks pretty good compared to that line. I grabbed a peach for me and a snack for Max, said goodbye to both Zach and the sitter, hopped in my car, put it in reverse and thought to myself, “I’ll get to school early and talk to the moms about the shooing and my quest for keys.” As I backed up, I checked my rearview mirror, not remembering Zach had adjusted it for his height. I saw the pecan tree in our yard and thought I was clear for take off. As I was backing up, I heard a loud thud and felt a jolt. “Where was the babysitters car parked?” I thought quickly to myself. No, no, no! As I jumped out of the car, Ron greeted meet at the scene. Then the crying and wailing began, “I’m so sorry.” It was only a little ding in her hood, but one I knew would need professional undinging. What’s wrong with me? Why am I not in Australia? As I walked back into the kitchen, I was the one who felt like a teenager. The sitter smiled and said, “I put one of the dents in the front, so don’t feel so bad.” Her smile and hug was a comical relief. Oh, did I mention she was packed to leave to go to college tomorrow morning?” “Yea,” she laughed. We laughed together until her cell phone rang. It was her dad checking in. We all froze. “Ok give me the phone,” I said, and I greeted him with the news. Ok he didn’t laugh, but of course said, “Celia it’ll be okay.” Hold the rest of my calls, because I’m considering having lunch with a Koala Bear. Ron rode with me to get Max from school. I wiped my eyes and mustered a smile as I saw one of the moms. She yelled, “coffee tomorrow morning at Bean Town, the local coffee shop.” Okay, I said over the car. As Max got into the car, we hugged. I told him about the crazy thing mom did and that I was thinking about Alexander and his story and about going to Australia. Max said to me, “some days are like that.” We both cracked up laughing, and he gave me a hug and told me the best thing and the not-so-best thing about his day.

As I sat and recanted this day for your encouragement, it was quite late in the evening and I couldn’t sleep. I wandered into my home office to find a #2 pencil and made my way to our guest bedroom to read. On the nightstand sat my dad’s pocket watch and the book I was finishing by Margaret Becker. It’s called “Coming Up For Air” and it has been just the right thing for this season. I read the last chapter and Margaret shared about the death of her mom and her journey through those days. On the last page she recalls a thought her mom shared with her one day, “the good Lord gave us only this day, M. Make something of it.”

I reflected on the day I’d had. I looked down at my dad’s watch in my hand and thought, “what’s really precious, Celia?” For me, real life is primarily not about my stubbed big toe, or my losing keys, or my being shooed out of first grade class, or about accidents involving cars. I don’t know about you, but for me, it’s the small things that take the wind out of my sails, not the big ones. Misplacing my emphasis makes the little things become big things. It’s about my losing sight of the fullness of love in my life–the loss of perspective. What I know to be important, is to love and to be loved. That is pure, rich and precious. Sharing something that is real, something like a smile on a friend’s face when they just rear-ended your car or like a hug from last year’s teacher, who I adored–She and I agreed, we’re all gonna be okay this new year. I know I’ll love this new teacher just as much — shooing and all. A wave from a mom reminds me that I’m not in this alone. A reminder from Max of the best and not so bewt things in our day and every once in a while, there are some days without not-so-best parts–I love those days! God is in the midst of each moment and I am so thankful for this day–even this day. It was one of my days I realize what a gift it is, even the little things, so I must embrace it all.

The next morning I had coffee with six of the moms whose children shared a kindergarten class last year. We laughed about my being shooed. They shared their stories of running into things with their cars. I got up to refill my coffee cup and glanced back as their laughter filled the room and I realized that I was grateful, even for the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days. Some days are like that, even in Franklin, Tennessee. Australia will have to wait for another day. I’m off to make something of this new one, and I invite you to make something of yours. Enjoy!

Psalm 118:24 This is the day that the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Ciao, Celia

P.S. I found my keys, tucked away in a corner right where I left them.